|
AsnUglyDuckling
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Penny
Location: California, United States
Birthday: 6/26/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: [| Well i have some hobbies; singing, dancing, hanging out with my friends, going shopping (it sucks when u no have $$$ =( ), going to the beach (love the sunset!..so beautiful), playing games heheh i suck but thats okie, talking to my freinds and eating and sleeping!! yea! ;) |]
Expertise: ~*~ Hmmm..uhmm i dunno..i can work the corners purday well...hahaha j/p uhmm i can sleep and eat!! woohoo!. ~*~
Occupation: Other
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
10/20/2003
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| o0o if this bitch im living with can get anymore fucking annoying and irritating that would be great!! First shes fuckin dirty, then she's always trying to fucking jock your shit and then she's fucking going back to being annoying all over again!!! why it is that people do not seem to understand what consideration means, if someone does something while considering the other person's feelings it would be nice if the other person reciprocate that! fucking dumb ignorant fat ass. i can't stand her, why do you have to fucking hit the fucking spoon on the damn pot like 100 times each time you fuckin cook??? and being loud with it when you know someone is fuckin studying! and then going to be a dumbass by closing the fucking room door every single time she gets in and out, who the fucks going to go in to fucking steal your shit bitch! what's wrong wtih you, and you fucking being loud too! and fucking stop always looking at me always fucking staring and shit, you creepy ass, take a fuckin picture!! ugh...why must I be nice to people who are so ignorant, i bite my fuckin tongue soooo hard all the time for this stupid bitch.i want to smack the hell out of her so bad right now. inconsiderate, dirty, ungrateful idiot. everything is always about her her her, oh im so helpless people are always mean to me im stress im tired i have so much to do i clean, BITCH you DONT fucking clean!!! NASTY ass shows how much you take care of yourself by the look of how you take care of your fuckin room and place.. you know why your ass don't have any friends???? because you talk shit, creepy, clingy, and everything always has to be about youuu, sooo you put yourself in that position dumb ass..always talking shit about people and then when you in front of their face your little bitch ass going to act like you're all freinds and shit.idiot...lost all respect for the bitch.ARRGGHHHHH AND WHY IS HER BOYFRIEND ALWAYS HEERRREEEEEE, HIS VOICE IS SOOOOOO ANNOYING AND LOUD, THIS MOTHERFUCKA MIGHT AS WELL FUCKING MOVE HIS SHIT IN, THIS DONT MAKE NO FUCKIN SENSEEEE!!! LOOORRDDD HELP ME BECAUSE I AM TRYING SOOO HARD TO NOT TO JUST SLAP HER, PLEASE HELP ME KEEP MY COOL BECAUSE IM ABOUT FED UP... | | |
| when was the last time i was here bloggin? don't rememeber and did not bother to even look, haha.anyways..school is almost over once again.we have a few more weeks then its summer/summer school. I'm exhausted, lately I've been studying my butt off, so that I won't have to cram when finals come along with trying to go back to eveyrthing and reading and whatnot, so I just study study study, I really want to do well this quarter, hopefully B's..Also broke as hell so I can't be going ANYWHERE. only got 2500 dollars for summer school this year, and summer school tuition alone is already 2000, LITTERALLY! so i am left with 500 to work with for books and rent, I have to HAVE to get a job along with training for my clinical care extender program which is freaken 8 hrs long so I don't know how I would be able to work at all..but we'll see....so its one thing piling on top of the other this last month or so for me, actually a lot of drama this month, family is going through it, I end up feeling it too.just need time to be alone and help the family out as much as I can..I think this birthday is going to suck because I have soo much on my shoulder, I really don't have the drive to celebrate, nor do I want to celebrate when things aren't going well. so0o0o....I just want this month and year to pass as quickly as possible so that hopefully things will start to look up for us. | | |
| so i noticed that the older we get the more we change, well some of us do. I like to think that I've changed for the better, in a sense that I've matured somewhat. but i also realize that along with us growing older and changing we start to allow ourselves to grow apart from the people in our past.and i want to emphasize ALLOWED because I don't believe that we lose contact, I see that we've allowed ourselves to lose contact.I may not talk to all my friends from high school but I do try to keep in contact at least once in a while whether or not the while is long or short, as long as you or I hear from each other and catch up for what could be even for 15 minutes.or a message about how we are doing.I wouldnt even mind if you would call and say hi im alive, okay bye.i would be cool with that, but thats keeping in contact.I don't like to see our friendships go to waste because we've all been friends for so long and we've done so much and have so much memories with each other that I'm so sad to see it all go to waste.so for those who allowed themselves to let the friendship goes to waste I would like you guys to think it over before you guys let it go,think of the past and how we used to hang out.the good memories.and what we used to talk to each other about.I know we've all changed like I said, but lets not allow our differences to take away what we have in common with each other, and that's love for one another.especially FRIENDS.I appreciate the fact that we are all different and I appreciate the fact that even though most of us are super far away we still try to keep in touch, because it makes it that much more special and strong.its like a relationship, you have to accept a person for who they are and how they are as a person, if you can't accept that person for the fault he/she has then you have no business loving that person because you too have faults and flaws that others have learned to accept you for.so think about youreself before you say anything about others and itll make it so much more easier to accept people, love, forgive, forget, move on...well that's that i just felt like bringing that up because I've jsut noticed that almost half a year of 2007 have passed us by and the times that passed us we can NEVER get back, so I want us to make use of the times we have and cherish it instead of letting it pass us by and later we regret what we did, what we didnt do, how we could've done something differently.honestly times really do fly by now that we are older, so I would like to help it strenghthen our friendhip, my relationship with my family, my maturing as a woman and a person, and my relationship with others to come and to those that are a part of my life right now.I dont like to meet people just to meet, I like to meet people so that I can keep them a part my life and build a connection, GOOD KEEPING IT REAL PEOPLE, not fakers who wants to meet people just to say they know people, thats not my thing, I want those that are a part of my life to be a part of my life for a reason, at least make an impact in my life.not to waste my time. Another thing, I can't beleive its already almost half a year of 2007 already i swear it was just yesterday that I started college thinking to myself its going to be FOREVER before I'll graduate, but look at us now.most of us are allmost graduating.its crazy to reflect on it.i hope good things are in store for all of us.i wish you all the best of luck in life.this is lonngggg...but hey its spring break i got the time hahaha.alright forealz thats it.im out.PEACE! | | |
| okay so update on february, i've noticed a pattern now.this month is just getting worse and worse by the day.on top of school piling up having something due every single week or not an exam,i have other issue i have to deal with.and then just when i thought its going to get better, something else will bring me down.i hate to sound like im complaining and whining and "emo-ish" but its just a bad month thats all.....or maybe just a bad start off year period.i try to tell myself to relax and cheer up and dont stress so much, i try and i really do, but eh does it work not really??..its sad up to the point where when i went to shannon's little sister birthday party i dressed up all nice just to make myself feel better because i raerly get to go out and look "nice".how lame!but sorry i couldnt stay long shannon, I hope you weren't mad at me thinking i didnt want to hang out with you, i really did have to help my mom with the whole chinese new years thing, no ones home to help her, my daddy isn't doing anything,so theres just me.and its coming up im somewhat excited somewhat dont care because its not the same as being in vietnam..but whatever something is better than nothing, got to appreciate whatever i can get.and thats another thing, i feel like i appreciate little things that people take advantage of so much that i feel like im depriving myself from better things.like i deserve the bigger and better things tooo, but it just dont like to come to me.so i have to treat myself i guess..i was thinking about treating myself out on wednesday, dont know what yet, maybe some ice cream, yes i know i like eating ice cream when its cold im weird but thats me! well enough about that, today i woke up late for class!!! ahhh class at 7, im usually up by 5 30 but nooo i ended up turning off the alarm thinking im going to wake up like i alway do i ended up not waking up for another hr, so i woke up around 6 37 which was SUPER late considering i always leave my apartment around 6 30. its about a 20 mintues walk to class....s0o to make the long story short! i SPEED walk and i mean SPEED walk,i made it in half the time i usually do, which is 10 minutes hahaha, i guess those running days did me some good huh.so sleepy now though.okay enough of this.psych. studying time!! midterm on thursday,wish me luck | | |
| (verse 1:)
a part of me wants to leave you alone.
a part of me wants for you to come home.
a part of me says i'm living a lie.
(and i'm better off without you.)
a part of me says to think it through.
a part of me says i'm over you.
a part of me wants to say goodbye.
a part of me is asking why...
(pre-chorus:)
a part of me wants to leave.
but a part of me wants to be here with you.
and everytime i think we're over and done you do something to get me back loving you.
and you got me just torn.
(chorus:)
torn in between the two. (oh yeah)
cuz i really wanna be with you.
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (i really want to be with you)
leave you alone.
leave you alone.
and you got me just torn in between the two. (in between the two)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (you alone)
leave you alone.
leave you alone.
(verse 2:)
there were no issues when we started out.
it was cool.
it was everything that love's about.
but something happened.
plus i feel it's over now.
(cuz i can't understand you now.) now oh
(i just can't understand you now.)
a part of me says it's all my fault.
a part of me says "he ain't what you want."
a part of me says to get my bags.
a part of me says i can't do that.
(pre-chorus:)
a part of me wants to leave.
but a part of me wants to be here with you.
and everytime i think that it's over and done you make me fall back in love.
you got me just torn.
(chorus:)
torn in between the two. (between the two)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone.(you alone)
leave you alone.
leave you alone.
and you got me just torn in between the two. (torn in between the two)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (really wanna be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (telling me i should leave)
leave you alone. (alone)
leave you alone. (alone)
(bridge:)
so many times i... (i was ready to go)
so many times i... (had my foot out the door)
so many times i... (i thought to give him a chance, thought he'd be a better man)
now i'm sitting here and i'm so confused.
cuz i keep fighting myself for you. (i don't know how much more i can take but i can't feel this way)
(you got me so torn)
(chorus:)
torn in between the two. (oh yeah)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (i really wanna be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone.
leave you alone.
leave you alone. (but i don't know)
and you got me just torn in between the two. (should i stay or should i go)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (i don't know)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (you alone)
leave you alone.
leave you alone. (you alone)
and you got me just torn in between the two. (i'm torn in between the two)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (i really wanna be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (but i don't know)
leave you alone.
leave you alone.
(repeat 3x)
and you got me just torn in between the two.
cuz i really wanna be with you.
but something's telling me i should leave you alone.
leave you alone.
leave you alone.
why it is that men always realize that they do something dumb wayyyy later than they should've and then they say stuff to try to get back with you when they have no business doing.but why it is that even though you know you shouldn't believe it, yet you still do....or at least a part of you is trying to convince yourself that it could be true?, you dont know whats fake and you dont know whats real, you dont know whats lie and you dont know whats truth, and you definitely dont know what to do... why am i even bother with it when i have other stress in my life that's more worth giving the time to.just when you thought everything was okay again. they pop in oout of the blue back into your life again... could it be a way of testing to see if youre strong enough to resist or a way of testing how good you are at recognizing bullshit? even when youre not asking for the bullshit, the bullshit comes to you.i mean damn if somehow you brought yourself to that situation then yes that's your fault, deal with it, but i never even bring myself to it and it came to me, what a girl to do? a machine can only run for so long till it will finally break down... when it is going to be my turn? my patience is running out, im ready to give up...why mmeeeee??????? | | |
|
